The Wire

Sometimes it feels like I’m walking on a wire
10 000ft in the air
perpetually off balance.
And the worst part?

I never fall.

The anticipation is killing me.


Middle School

I went to my old middle school today.
I realized I graduated a decade ago.
It was mostly the same,
but it had, in a small way, changed.

It’s been ten years since; I wonder if I’ve grown much.
I guess I’ve learned a little.
Though I can’t say I know much,
but maybe that’s just how it goes.

Or maybe that just means I’m not grown yet.
Maybe that means I’m a little tone deaf.
Life’s a song and dance and I just don’t know the steps yet.


Growing Up

Growing up I never felt like I was good enough.
I learned to get over it.

Then I’d make a bad mistake.
I’d try to learn from it and sooner or later,
usually the latter, I’d move on

Usually right after making another one.

And I find myself thinking I should have killed myself two weeks ago.


I’m Kind of Depressed

So I think I’m depressed.

See, there’s this pressure at the back of my head

The bottom-right corner

Well, my right.

And I’m just so tired.  I can feel my blood choke and crawl.

It takes extra effort to move at all.

All the sounds sound a little muffled and hard to hear

Kind of like the audio of the old YouTube player.

And the colours are grey-filtered like Zack Snyder was in charge of post production.

It takes extra effort to function.

family · Poems

Child Support

Mom would always get mad
when I “forgot” to remind Dad to pay the child support.
She thought I respected his money more.
Nothing could be more from the truth.

She told me in divorce court that he didn’t want me.
Still all I wanted was for my dad to like me.
And it was hard to pretend that he did
when it felt like I was forcing him to support me.